I hit my first 30 lbs today so I figured it was time for a Hip hip hooray.

It is so crazy. I had really started to slack off again and things went downhill quickly. I gained all of my weight back and I mean all of it to the same high I was a year ago and said I would never hit again. I really didn't like myself at all and crawled back into my shell of none existence. I stopped calling friends again, I became the unhappy mom, my girls really suffered from this down fall but then Boyd made the stupidest comment and it totally hit home. I think I have always felt like I fail at everything because I never finish things. (Ok, so this is not entirely true but we only see the worst in ourselves.) I know I have set myself up for failure every single time I have tried to get rid of these dreaded pounds since I got married. I am not ready to share all the facts, once I hit my goal it will be a huge accomplishment but until then let's just say I had put on way too much weight. I refused to put on a size 20 though I really had to stuff myself into a size 18 pant. This was not something I would have ever thought possible as a thin teen. I really had it easy then but I think that that was a curse because I never had to learn how to eat healthy and take care of myself physically. I ate what I wanted and didn't gain a pound. Then PCOS hit me with a bang and I gained 50 pounds right after I got married and the weight continued to creep on.

Anyway back to my excitement of what I have accomplished. In the last month I have worked my fanny off and lost 30 pounds and have dropped to a pants size 12 or 14 depending on the brand but the 12's are becoming more of a regular thing. And all of this because Boyd told me that I have finished a lot of books. I know, I know not much of a statement but you have to realize that I was at an all time low and not really thinking clearly. The very next day I started taking TAIslim again, started doing the South Beach diet since this is what my OB said was the way I should eat for the rest of my life with PCOS, and started working out every day. I can now run 3 miles and have shaved 5 minutes off of my mile. I started at 15 minute miles but this is after being in such bad shape that I hadn't been able to make a half mile run without walking in between.

I think the best part of this whole experience is that I know that I am well on the way to finishing the race. (as well as being a good mom once again.) I now allow myself bad days, even bad weeks, but I get right back on and go strong. I have also realized that sugar makes me really sick so although I do allow days of indulgence I pay the price the next so it is becoming much easier to just not have things I shouldn't. I have begun doing research on line for new recipes and like always enjoy trying new things. You learn to get very creative. My new favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs with cottage cheese mixed in. I know it sounds gross but it is really satisfying.

Now, I don't have to ask if "these jeans make my butt look fat?" because well, they are really starting to make it look cute. And just you wait until the end. It is funny how weight works. Last year when I lost 40 pounds I felt great, was 10 pounds less than now, but I couldn't fit into the two pair of goal pants that I had hanging in my closet as a constant reminder.... I can now wear both pair, I wore one a pair of board shorts to the pool today and the other a really cute pair of capris that Cindy gave me a few days ago to work. What a sense of accomplishment. I guess I need to go get another pair to keep working toward. This time I will get my ultimate goal size an 8 and keep those in site.

Have an amazing evening, I am going to go enjoy some time with the fam since I don't have to work tonight and Boyd should be walking in the door any second.